huang mei & guo chee aka sgp mynahs heroes

Quote:
Originally Posted by leetahbar
shucks! the CONDOR HEROES are co-incidentally airing now soon after i written CONDOM HERO LOVERS. hmm...jin yong got condors in china wu xia, what do we have in peesailand? MYNAHS!! actually i wanted to use CROWS or PIGEONS or HAKKA TIOW's lan jiao...but then, let settle for MYNAHS

so stay tuned for the SGP MYNAH HEROES starring huang rou and guo chee who are real-life couple besides being reel life lovers in the martial arts in local politics......

it all began when guo chee's favorite past time was penpaling huang mei. (sorry for the sudden name changes). huang mei's father was a reputable pugilistic kungfu master residing in tao hua yuan of taiwan. our hero guo chee lived in a shack in BALESTIER HILL of peesailand.

one day, a mynah carrying a message landed into guo chee's shack. it read: "whoever finds this note, response immediately and my father shall transfer his exclusive kungfu and inner strength to him. and yes, you gotta marry me!"

thrilled as guo chee could be, he immediately prepared his brush and ink and responded. tying the tiny slip onto the mynah's leg, he set it off returning to its owner, huang mei.

this to and fro mynah sms exchanges were like the long distance phone communication in the olden days. they used carrier pigeons before but they usually ended up as roast pigeons on the receiver's dinner table

finally, guo chee decided to sail over to tao hua yuan, taiwan to meet huang mei and received the exquisite kungfu skill and internal energy from dong xie or EASTERN EVIL as he was popularly known as then. they married there. every year, the loving MYNAH HEROES couple would pop out a teletubbie. they popped out 3 in a matter of 3 yrs. don't forget guo chee was now charged with "internal energy" from Eastern EVIL dong xie, his newly founded father-in-law. it could get quite horny for guo chee to keep it down during certain hot nights.

suddenly, an urgent sms was delivered by another mynah which flew all the way from NUS HILL of peesailand to the lap of guo chee. the sacred NUS HILL was the haunt of all the cremes of the creams of peesailand. the best kungfu fighters were trained there. it wanted gou chee back on the double. if not they void his PhD which was a title that caused permanent head damage once u master this exclusive skill unique in NUS HILL. every martial arts diehards desperately wanted phD kungfu but only the creams of the land were entitled to it.

without further delay, guo chee and huang mei flew back. not by aeroplane of course! it was ancient time. they flew back in their homebred and well-trained giant condor. soon, the condor landed guo chee, huang mei and all their 3 teletubbies safely on NUS HILL.

guo chee began his training of phD kungfu. huang mei wasn't one to be left behind. she trained too with an ang mo lau kow's form of phD. and troubles began....

you see, messages carrier mynahs were unique in this part of the world but not in the ang mo's land. ( they used the lau kow or tree swinging monkeys to do their sms delivery.) the mynahs were not cheap to maintain. they had to be well-fed with expensive high protein specially forumlated feeds. that cost alot to NUS HILL bird-keepers.

huang mei was desperate to send her phD stances to her ang mo sifu and the fastest way would be to deploy sms using the mynahs. guo chee bo bian and hopelessly lost. he stole a couple of the fastest and most expensive mynahs from NUS HILL. cunningly, he replaced the missing carrier mynahs with lame pariah scavenger birds. they looked exactly alike. but when those pariah birds when fed with the exculsive bird food, they went berserk and diarrhoea the whole NUS HILL with smelly bird shits. (maybe guo chee was the one who indirectly started the bird flu syndrome then. who knows)

the matter was discovered by the birdkeepers. guo chee was interrogated, convicted and expelled. he was lucky he had already mastered the exclusive phD skill if not he would be a locter instead of a doctor guo chee. among other things that NUS HILL keepers found missing were: calligraphy brushes, ink, ink stones, brush holders, rice papers...etc were all missing quite often. they found that their horse driven chariots were also being abused. guo chee was too overladden with evidences except to admit his misdeed and shamefully left NUS HILL for good to train on his own henceforth.

how did guo chee being exposed? he finally traced it to the LEEgime's secret informant service. hence, this began the life long vendetta that initiated the continuous martials arts clashes against the LEEgime and the famiLEE.

the dramatic saga continues until today.....many new and more formidable skills were later developed by guo chee who is now lovingly known to his disciples, followers and ardent worshippers as MASTER CHEE. huang mei in the meantime sliently backs guo chee. she also has mastered the TA GOU PANG or the doggie hitting stick which is why they called anyone against master chee "doggies". this would motivate huang mei to execute her ingenious TA GOU PANG stance.

again, the trouble with the stance is it doesn't recognise who is what doggies. sdppies are also doggies - the rabid pariah kind. once the TA GOU PANG stance is initiated, the doggie stick has to hit doggies - any doggies, rabid pariah specimens included. it ended up sdpy doggies were the ones usually bruised.

this kai pang's TA GOU PANG has since stopped. guo chee refused to let huang mei executes it. it hurts their sdppy doggie more than the pappies. kai pang if translated means BEGGAR GANG. hence, sdppy fits it to the hilt. they are always begging for alms...for donations from poor peasants. what the peasants do not aware is, the money they gave to master chee's KAI PANG, the BEGGAR GANG actually ends up in the LEEgime's piggy banks.

and there u have it....our local version of huang mei & guo chee - the SGP MYNAHS HEROES of peesailand.